How Can You Help a Grieving Child?
Losing a loved one is difficult at any age, but dealing with a loss as a child can have a significant impact on how they process emotions as they grow and mature. It’s estimated that 1 in 5 school-aged children will experience the death of a significant person, and 1 in 20 will experience the death of a parent.
Navigating difficult conversations around death and grief with children may be difficult, so it is important to know how to support them—and yourself—during this time.
Tips for Guiding the Conversation
A parent, caregiver, or adult may want to first consider their own emotions through reflection before trying to hold space for the child’s emotions. If the adult is feeling stress or anxiety, a child can pick up on those emotions and become more uncomfortable discussing their feelings.
A good place to begin is by asking the child what they know and understand about the situation. This can help them feel validated in their feelings or questions (Childbereavement.org).
Validate their feelings by actively listening to their thoughts, questions, and needs. Try to gently correct any misinformation or misconceptions while acknowledging underlying fears or concerns—especially since children may not fully understand death or whether someone’s death means they are in danger.
Keep answers simple and honest. Avoid withholding information, which can create more anxiety or make things seem too horrible to discuss. You might say:
“Something very bad happened.”
“I don’t have all of the answers yet, but I’ll tell you when I do.”
“Do you have any questions?”
Encourage them to express their feelings and ask questions. This helps them develop an understanding of what’s happened.
Common Responses to Watch For
Children may feel:
Confused
Anxious
Defensive
Withdrawn
They may:
Struggle to concentrate
Regress to earlier behaviors (thumb-sucking, bed-wetting)
Develop separation anxiety
These behaviors are common in children, but if they continue for longer than a few weeks, it may be helpful to speak to a counselor to support the child’s healing process.
Reassurance Through Communication
Stay in communication and open to conversations with a child. Reassure them by letting them see that grief is a process. Expressing your own feelings in front of them helps them know they are not alone. Leading by example shows them how to process emotions in a safe, healthy way—surrounded by trusted loved ones or caregivers.
Additional Resources
The most important thing you can do for a grieving child is to be patient—and show them they are not alone.
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