Writing a eulogy amid grief and shock can be one of the most emotionally difficult tasks when a loved one dies, but it can also be deeply healing and cathartic. It can seem like a daunting task but by focusing on its purpose and intention, you can write a thoughtful eulogy, in a short amount of time.

In this blog, learn the meaning of a eulogy, and how you can write one for your loved one.

The Purpose of a Eulogy

The purpose of a eulogy is to honor the departed, provide comfort to those who mourn, share memories, and support the grief journey.

• Honor life of the departed: A eulogy provides space to celebrate and acknowledge your loved one’s life, their achievements, their relationships, and the unique qualities that made them special. It allows friends and family to remember the memorable aspects, bringing a sense of closure.

• Share memories: A eulogy provides an opportunity to share stories, experiences, and moments that help others see the deceased through the speaker’s eyes. This can bring comfort to those mourning by reminding them of happy times shared with their loved one.

• Offers comfort to others: Hearing a heartfelt tribute can help those in grief find comfort, as it validates the importance of the departed and the impact they had on others. It brings people together in shared remembrance.

• Processing grief: For the person delivering the eulogy, writing it can be a way to process their own feelings of loss. Reflecting on the person’s life can bring a sense of peace and help navigate the intense emotions of grief.

How to Write a Meaningful & Memorable Eulogy

You can use the below as a guide to relieve some pressure and overwhelm while writing a eulogy.

1. Start with Preparation and Reflection

Before starting, take a moment to pause and reflect on the person’s life and the impact they had on you and others. Consider the following questions. This reflection will help you gather thoughts and shape the structure of the eulogy.

• What were their most defining qualities?

• What are your fondest memories of them?

• How did they make others feel?

• What achievements or milestones were important in their life?

“One way I grounded myself while writing a eulogy for my father was by sitting in his favorite chair with a cup of his favorite tea. I let myself feel the presence of him in that space, and the memories slowly started to surface. I wrote down whatever came to mind, even if it didn’t seem important at first. Before I knew it, those little moments I jotted down became the foundation of my eulogy.”

2. Create a Clear Structure

A eulogy should be organized and easy to follow. Here’s a basic structure to guide you:

• Introduction: Begin by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the person.

• Life Overview: Provide a brief overview of the person’s life, touching on their background, career, family, and passions.

• Personal Stories and Memories: Share meaningful anecdotes or experiences that capture their personality and essence.

• Closing and Farewell: Conclude by offering a heartfelt farewell, perhaps sharing a meaningful quote, poem, or blessing.

3. Highlight Their Unique Qualities

Think about what made your loved one special. Were they known for their sense of humor, kindness, determination, or wisdom? Share specific examples that illustrate these qualities. For example:

• Humor Example: “One thing everyone remembers about [Name] is their ability to make us laugh. Like the time they showed up to the family reunion dressed as a clown, just to see the kids smile. It was their way of reminding us not to take life too seriously.”

• Kindness Example: “To [Name], no act of kindness was too small. I remember when they spent hours helping a neighbor rebuild a fence after a storm, not because they were asked, but because they saw someone in need.”

4. Include Personal Stories

Stories are the heart of a good eulogy. Sharing moments that were significant to both you and the person you’re honoring will bring them to life for everyone listening. Try to incorporate a variety of stories, from funny moments to serious, heartfelt experiences.

• Personal Story: “One of my favorite memories is from a family camping trip. [Name] had never been the outdoorsy type, but they wanted to join in. I’ll never forget the sight of them trying to pitch a tent, laughing through every mistake. In the end, we all slept under the stars because they insisted, we didn’t need a tent to enjoy nature.”

5. Speak from the Heart

Authenticity is key to a meaningful eulogy. It’s okay to show emotion or even humor—it’s part of the grieving and remembering process. Don’t worry about sounding formal or polished. Instead, focus on expressing your genuine feelings about the person and what they meant to you.

6. Honor Their Legacy

Think about how the person’s life will continue to influence others. What lessons did they leave behind? How will they be remembered by their family, friends, and community?

• Legacy Example: “Although [Name] is no longer with us, their generosity and love will live on. Each time we gather for Sunday dinners, each time we reach out to help a friend in need, we’ll remember the way they taught us to live with kindness.”

7. Use Quotes, Poems, or Religious Texts

Incorporating a meaningful quote, poem, or religious text can add depth and comfort to your eulogy. Choose something that reflects the values or spirit of the person you’re honoring. For example:

• Quote: “As Maya Angelou once said, ‘People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.’ And we’ll never forget how [Name] made us feel—loved, supported, and valued.”

• Religious Text: “In the Bible, Psalm 23 reminds us, ‘Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.’ These words give us comfort as we say goodbye to [Name].”

8. Practice and Be Prepared

Before delivering the eulogy, practice reading it out loud several times. This will help you become more comfortable with the words and the flow. You don’t need to memorize it, but being familiar with your speech can make it easier to stay composed when emotions run high. It’s also helpful to have a written copy with you during the service, in case you need it.

9. Keep It Respectful and Positive

While it’s important to be honest, a eulogy should focus on positive memories and the good qualities of the person. Even if the relationship was complicated or the person had flaws, find ways to highlight the things that made them special to you and others.

10. Be Brief but Thoughtful

Eulogies are typically 5–10 minutes long, so aim to be concise while still offering meaningful content. Focus on the key memories and qualities that best represent the person’s life, rather than trying to cover everything.

For some examples of eulogies, visit The Speaker’s Lab site.

Conclusion

Writing a meaningful eulogy is a chance to honor and celebrate a loved one’s life in a way that feels personal and heartfelt. By reflecting on their unique qualities, sharing personal stories, and speaking from the heart, you can create a tribute that truly honors their memory and offers comfort to those in attendance.